Our newest adventure....

4 weeks yesterday, on the 2nd June 2019, we welcomed a not so little 8lb5oz bundle into the world, and I don’t want to sound biased but he is bloody perfect!

This little man has been one of our best kept secrets, with no huge announcement we just decided to tell those closest to us…if you’re one of those people you must feel pretty special right about now. 

Throughout my pregnancy I did toy with writing a blog once a month to document how I was feeling and what was going on. However, I had a pretty straight forward pregnancy with my only major complaint being constipation and a bad case of piles, so it would have made for pretty boring reading. I bet you never thought I’d have that trouble after all my toilet woes whilst we were on the road.

However, I’ve now decided to write a little down, as I’ve found so much help and support online through blogs from other mums and I'd like to think that I could help someone too. This combined with love and the best support from Kyle, friends and family has helped me realise that everyone “mums” differently, there is no perfect way to do anything and no matter how hard you find things, you will be super mum to your little one…even if you don’t always feel like it.

I had every intention of having a quick, natural birth. The last thing I wanted was an epidural and to not be able to push this kid out myself. From the outset I did everything I could to ensure that he was in the correct position, yoga, birthing ball and walking. Unfortunately, this guy had other ideas. 

Kyle was thrilled when during the Champions league final I announced that my waters had broken, a call to the triage had resulted in an invite for inspection, and us being kept in . Don’t worry he supports Man Utd so it wasn’t that big a deal. 

Labour was long (apparently a sign that your baby is back to back, how I wish I’d know that fact earlier). Starting on the Thursday evening, I suffered through Friday and Saturday with labour pains. One friend said to me, “You’ll know when it’s happening” and she was right. What I wish someone had also told me, was stuff your face at the beginning of labour whilst you can still eat and sleep. I didn’t, which resulted in me not eating or sleeping until Tuesday! 

I could give you the whole labour story, but nobody wants to hear that. Instead I’ll tell you some snippits and some tips. Starting with, don’t be a hero, nobody gets medals for going through labour without pain relief. I was determined to go it alone, but after a good few hours of contractions and pushing, I agreed to gas and air. I then progressed to an injection of meptid when they ramped up my contractions with a drip. Was a wired and chatting shit, yes, but I don't remember any of what I said and I did apologise for any offence caused afterwards.

I knew things weren’t going well for me when a doctor entered the room a few hours into active labour, and yet another set of fingers were popped in my foof to find out where our boy was….it was at this point we learnt he was back to back and pretty much stuck. The doctor was positive that he could turn him around and get him out with fawceps and in the case he couldn’t, I would have to go for a c-section. This was not the plan I had, and after being read all the things that could go wrong with a spinal injection I was even more determined to push, push push! 

More advice? The doctors and midwives know what they’re talking about and not everything goes to plan so if they tell you something needs to happen and is best for both you and baby, go for it! Looking back, I wish I had just gone with it instead of being so stubborn and head strong. I was lucky our baby didn’t have any problems during the whole labour and the doctor was able to turn him and get him out, but it could have all been over much quicker if I had just said yes the first time.

Personally, I think that spinals and epidurals are painted as quite scary things. You read about people losing control of their bladders, having problems with bowel movements and never getting the feeling back fully in their legs. It was stories like these that put me off having this done, but lets be honest, hardy anyone posts the positive stories, we are a nation of people that like to shout about the bad. But I can tell you that I’m fine, yeah I have to pee when I have to pee, but what mum doesn’t? People keep telling me pelvic exercises will help, I’ll keep you updated, I feel like I’m doing 10000 a day! I have successfully coughed, sneezed and laughed without wetting myself though…so let that be a positive for you.

Breastfeeding! What a subject. I hadn’t given much thought to it, and along with the perfect birth me and my little man were going to have an amazing breastfeeding journey too…because it’s natural and all babies have the perfect latch right? Wrong!

To be honest, we did get feeding down pretty quickly, he took to the boob like any man would. Thanks to help from the wonderful midwives on the maternity ward. We stayed in 2 nights and though I moaned at the time to go home, I think the extra support we got whilst being in hospital helped us learn how to feed...so make the most of it whilst the help is there!

But for me after 3 weeks of persisting my breastfeeding journey came to an end. A painful experience when my milk came in, milking myself with a pump and going through 4 cluster feeds and growth spurts I knew it wasn’t for me. I felt awful and cried with each feed, I knew he was doing well, gaining weight and getting all he needed from the boob. But I was dreading leaving the house and was in a lot of pain with my nipples, even with a good latch from the boy I just wasn't happy. And mums, that is ok! You couldn’t tell me that 3 weeks ago, but when I see him guzzling his formula and chilling in a milk coma after a feed I know I made the right decision for us both. (Plus Kyle can now help with the night feeds…winning). And to all you mums who stick with breastfeeding, I give you all the credit in the world. You should be proud of yourselves!

Something I struggled to find information on was how to stop breastfeeding without getting mastitis. There is no quick stop, dropping a feed a day, using cabbage leaves as cold compresses and hand expressing in the shower are things that worked for me. But every boob is different! Just be prepared for them to feel a little empty when you’ve finished. I’ve seen the phrase dogs ears on many a mum blog.

What else have I learnt 4 weeks in,

• Listen to praise from anyone who wants to give you it. I’m especially thankful to the lady who stopped me in Tesco 8 days in to tell me I was doing a great job, and sorry I got a little teary.
• Don’t have too strict a birth plan. What will be will be, and midwives truly are amazing! they only want what is best for you and baby.
• You will poo in labour, and it’s ok. As mentioned above, midwives are amazing! Just apologise, especially if it smells.
• Tears, they will flow. Sad ones, happy ones, don’t know why they’re happening ones…let them out, you will feel better.
• Ask your mum friends anything, and I mean anything. They are the best for up to date advice and they will answer any question no matter how personal…believe me I have been there. 
• When breastfeeding make sure you set up your station, biscuits and water are essential!
• Book in time alone. Except for 2 quick visits from my mum and Kyles dad, we had the first week to ourselves without visitors. This allowed us time to settle in at home as a family and get confident as parents.
• On the flip side of this, accept help if you need it. Especially from your partner, I’m lucky that Kyle is a hands on dad and we have a pretty chill baby..they entertain each other no end, and he’s not afraid to change a dirty nappy. I honestly cannot put into words how much I love the pair of them.
• Nappies, you can never have enough. Especially as milk is coming out as quickly as it’s going in during the early days. You will change what feels like 500 a day.
• Get ready to celebrate poo. We suffered a day of constipation, and got really happy when he managed to get one out…even though it was a mini poonami.
• Your baby, your rules. I don’t believe in holding a sleeping baby, or disturbing a sleeping baby. Along with kissing a baby, after having learnt what can happen…these are things I now enforce, even with family.
• Sleep when they sleep. I’m a massive hypocrite because I don’t do this, yet! But I will, starting this week I promise.
• As cliche as this is, make the most of every second. Babies really do change every day. I’m constantly surprised when I look back at pictures from the day he was born.
• Reach out to other mums, and don’t be alone. There are so many groups to visit or apps to download if you just want to chat. There is always someone awake to talk to.
• Say thank you and tell people you love them. It seems so simple, but like we appreciate being made to feel good, it’s nice to return the favour.
• Most important of all, do not look at your vagina! Leave it to the professionals, especially if you want to sleep again without nightmares. Use those large maternity pads as long as possible, they make look ugly but it's like sitting on a cloud.

That’s that. The above may not work for you, but it’s what is working for me and quite honestly I am just winging it and having the best time doing so. I like to think that the little man is too, he seems to smile a lot, but it could just be trapped wind.

The last 4 weeks have been a crazy whirlwind but I wouldn’t change a moment of it. I am so grateful to have Kyle, my mum, huge family and the best friends ever! (you certainly learn who they are). Our adventure is only just beginning, and I can’t wait to see what happens. #Bigthree.

xxx